D3 body, D1 cock
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
