He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
