ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
