scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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