I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
