I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
