I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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