So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
