DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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