We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
