Old men and throwing up are my life now.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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