FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
