i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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