He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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