I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
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