When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
