If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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