Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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