3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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