is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
