He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
