i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
