why didn't you poke me back
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
home. puking in laundry basket.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
