i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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