I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
