yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
