Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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