I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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