she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
