let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
