I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Sober January is a disaster.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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