i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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