doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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