I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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