Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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