I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
