Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
