They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
