You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
