Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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