I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
