It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
