I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
