wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
