the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
