nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
