if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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