hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
