Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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