did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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