I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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